Take 5 cups of your favorite small pasta. (I like rotini.) Start that boiling in a huge pot.
While that is cooking, in a large bowl combine one can of condensed mushroom soup, 1/2 cups milk, 2/3 cup each (chunks, not grated) of cheddar, mozzarella, and swiss cheese, and 1/2 cup of bacon bits. (Real, unless religion forbids.) Nuke that for 2 min on high and then stir, and then two more minutes and stir at the end.
At this point start your oven and set it to 450 degrees ferenheight, but on 'broil' so it's only hot from the top.
When the pasta is 95% done, (very slightly chewy) strain it and pour it into a large oven safe pan. Add the (now melted) cheesy, gooey, mushroomy bacon mix and stir thoroughly.
Grate equal parts cheddar, swiss, and mozza again until you have 2 cups of cheese. (About as much as before.) Sprinkle that on top of the mix and try to cover it evenly. Then sprinkle another 1/3 of a cup of bacon bits on top.
By now your oven light should be out, meaning that the oven is hot enough. Put this all in for around 10-15 minutes, or until the cheese is browning and crispy.
Then eat this:
Then die happy.
"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all."
-Harriet Van Horne