Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Dodged a bullet

My chair tried to kill me today.

Just as I was sitting down only a few moments ago there was a sound like a gunshot and shards of black plastic sprayed across the room. A very bullet-like object whizzed into the corner and smacked against the wall. I ended up on the floor, resting on my shapely posterior - by way of my skull.

Turns out there appears to have been a problem with the knob on the bottom that houses a spring. One problem it currently is experiencing is a lack of attachment to the chair. I believe this knob used to be used to adjust the resistance encountered when leaning back into a reclined position. I never actually used it myself but I have made this assumption based on the new 'feature' the chair has acquired - A trap door.

To all appearances the chair is normal, and rests in an upright position. When a person, (Let's call him 'Unsuspecting Rester') sits down, all semblance of verticality ceases and the person does a back flip. Quite a good one for an amateur, actually. (I got a 7.4!)

Let's see - hm. O.K. It would appear that I'm still able to adjust the tension of the back by twisting the nut that remains, (giggle) however the nut and bolt themselves are greasy (see previous) - I don't want it to drip onto my new carpet. For now I'll put some paper towel down there.

For your viewing pleasure, here's all that I could find of the knob portion. The biggest chunk was still under my chair, and the slightly smaller one was in the corner behind my printer. (Let's call it the 'second gunman'.) I'm currently constructing my theory about the smaller 'accomplices' that were strewn roughly evenly across the entire room.

I don't want to throw away a $160 chair for one minor issue, especially since it's largely cosmetic. (Even if the chair is a murderous bastard.) There is a very small chance of my fingers getting caught in the exposed spring but I'm more worried about the grease getting on the carpet. I don't know where I can find a similar knob and the knob itself looks to have acted like a sort of wrench for the nut. I don't really need to adjust it but I would like it covered. Any thoughts?

You win this round Chair...


"A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't."

1 comment:

Drhaggis said...

I suggest covering the spring with a combination of paper mache and pipe cleaners.

Fun and decorative.