I finally got one! Behold my glorious "+3 Spork of pwning"!
For those uninitiated in such things, it is the unholy love child of a Spoon and Fork. (Spoon + Fork = Spork. Not to be confused with Knork.) This particular model is made out of titanium, the world's coolest metal. It's the ultimate utensil for the Geek on the Go.
It was a gift from my lovely J, whom I both adore and miss very much.
Oh, and if you don't get why it's cool, you probably never will.
Peace out, yo.
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."